I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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