We're like a lot better than the average bears
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
