I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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