My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
