Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
