Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
