so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize