The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have post one night stand depression
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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