just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s