two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
