oh good, I think they're gone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!