Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
