So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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