We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
