I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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