just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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