If i come over, it means nothing
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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