Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....