i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
