so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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