i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
