Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
NoShamevember. You game?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
