How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
