Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
