do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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