my soul wont recognize me after tonight
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
