i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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