Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
