I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
