you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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