I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
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I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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