I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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