In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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