I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
