6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
