You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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