If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize