I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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