I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize