Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
