Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
