Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
