Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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