So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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