No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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