There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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