also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i love accidental penises.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
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How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown