i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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