sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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