great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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