the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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