So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
