He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
