there's paper in my vomit.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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