Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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