Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
