On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
