we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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