she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize