Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I could fuck to npr.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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