when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Boobs are out for the taking
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
be right there i have to get my cape
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
