I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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