if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
